The Evolutionary Empath Blog
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So You're an Empath...Now What?
August 16, 2019 | By Stephanie Red Feather
“I am an empath. But for the first thirty years of my life, I didn’t know it, and I certainly didn’t know how to cope in the world as an empath.
At my lowest points I was in total despair, with no clue of who I was, what value I had to offer the world, or how to improve my circumstances. I endured over three decades thinking that everything I felt was mine. I withstood being labeled emotional, fragile, unstable, or too sensitive. I was internally tormented, wondering why everything affected me so strongly. I thought I was too weak or unfit to handle the “real world.”
When I wasn’t conscious of the fact I was an empath, I simply believed what everyone told me. That’s Stephanie. She’s just emotional. Or dramatic. Or moody. Or weird. Once I became aware of the concept of being an empath, it helped . . . a little. But at the same time it opened up an entirely new world with which I was completely unfamiliar. Yes, there was a name for “this thing I was,” but now what? I still had to figure out the daily task of living life.”
These words open the introduction to my upcoming book, The Evolutionary Empath. Through my spiritual awakening (read: bumping around in the dark, sucking my thumb in the corner, and cussing at God), I have gained some hard-won wisdom and perspective on living life as an empath. After emerging (scathed, definitely scathed) from the spiritual crucible, I realized it was my passion to...
Empath Does Not Equal Doormat
August 28, 2019 | By Stephanie Red Feather
As empaths, it is easy for us to merge with other people and take on their emotions, problems, expectations and issues. Often to the point that we think the emotion, problem or issue is our own! One of our greatest gifts is our ability to feel what others are feeling, understand their circumstances deeply, and see things from their perspective. More than just sympathy, more than just empathy, we can pluck ourselves out of our own body, plop ourselves in the middle of someone else’s existence, and know what it is like to be them. Compassion is our superpower.
But when we are operating as an “unconscious empath” (one who doesn’t know they’re an empath yet), our superpower can seem more like our kryptonite. For many of us, this quality means we lived (or might still be living) highly codependent lives with nary a healthy boundary in sight. Without understand where we end and the next person begins...
The Energetic Impact of Setting Boundaries, Part 1
September 6, 2019 | By Stephanie Red Feather
Boundary-setting is a critical human skill…one that far too few of us learned to do well early on. Being an empath, I frankly sucked at establishing and enforcing good boundaries for the first 30+ years of my life. ”Sure, come on into my sovereign space. I don’t even know where my edges are and I’m happy to suppress my true self in favor of who you think I should be” was pretty much the message I unwittingly transmitted for three decades.
Through an excruciating amount of deep inner work, I reclaimed my sovereignty and figured out where my edges are. I learned to say no and ask for what I need – both essential skills in maintaining healthy boundaries. And I started unraveling the mystery of what actually happens at an energetic level when we establish a boundary to help me navigate the process with more grace.
So what does happen at an energetic level when you draw boundaries? Let’s first start with a few concrete illustrations of boundary-drawing to set the stage.
For example, a simple boundary could be...
The Energetic Impact of Setting Boundaries, Part 2
September 12, 2019 | By Stephanie Red Feather
In part one of this two-part series, I explained what happens at a subtle energetic level when we draw boundaries (such as saying no or asking for what we need.) The crucial corollary to drawing boundaries is your preparation for the other person’s response, which includes the development of consequences.
Here’s the rub when it comes to drawing boundaries: it is your responsibility to ask for what you need and it is nobody’s responsibility to comply.
Sucks, I know. But in exercising our free will as humans, just because you set a boundary it doesn’t mean the other person has to agree! It is a hard truth and one I recommend you to accept as soon as possible. Otherwise, you might as well forget about consistent boundary drawing and enforcing.
As I shared previously, it is human nature to put each other in boxes, because it is instinctive to try and...
Who Is In Your Energy Field?
September 19, 2019 | By Stephanie Red Feather
(Originally published in Evolving Magazine October 2019)
As empaths (sensitive beings), we naturally have very open energy fields, big hearts, and a desire to serve others. This makes us exceptional therapists, healers, energy workers, coaches, healthcare professionals, and similar careers of service.
Unfortunately, when we aren’t conscious of our energy field, we often have loose, sloppy, or non-existent boundaries. This means the edges of our energetic container are not well-defined, if at all (think Swiss cheese). One consequence of this is that we tend to let everybody into our energetic (and even physical) space, indiscriminately...
Who Were You as a Child?
September 26, 2019 | By Stephanie Red Feather
Do you know who you “really” are? Have you struggled with your sense of self, experienced an identity crisis, or maybe still feel like you’re figuring it out?
It is common in the archetypal hero’s or heroine’s journey of our life that we lose, question or hide our real self. But for empaths (highly sensitive people), it is practically a given. One of our main traits as empaths is that it is easy for us to merge with other people and absorb their emotions, problems, values, habits, beliefs and more. And because it is so natural for us to live in everyone else’s shoes, we don’t even know we’re doing it. This causes us to believe...
As Within, So Without: Adjusting Our Outer World to Harmonize With Our Inner Frequency
October 2, 2019 | By Stephanie Red Feather
(Originally published on The Heart of the Healer website September 2018)
After completing and submitting my book manuscript, I reorganized my entire office, which bled out into the hallway, stair well and temple space. Art on the walls had to be rearranged. Colors had to be altered. Coziness had to be amped up. Ceremony had to be performed. The flow of energy had to be rerouted.
Ever wonder why, when you go through a massive transition or intense shift, you almost always make some kind of change in your outer world? You rearrange furniture, release relationships, plant a garden, sort and reorganize, paint the house, hold a garage sale, or in some way shift what is in your environment. There's a reason for this...
Lower Your Energetic Center of Gravity
October 9, 2019 | By Stephanie Red Feather
In our chronically overstimulating and fast-paced world, it is challenging to stay grounded, fully present, and calm. The pace of life has us continually operating in the red zone, with our internal engine persistently running at high RPMs, thus overloading our nervous system and depleting our adrenals. In turn, our natural biorhythms get out of sync. We override our body’s instincts telling us to pause or rest. We feel out of sorts, ungrounded, irritable, exhausted.
Energetically, when we are stressed, overwhelmed, spinning, or anxious, our life force moves...
From Submerged to Emerged: A Past Life, Godzilla’s Hand, and a Soul Calling
October 17, 2019 | By Stephanie Red Feather
I’ve known for a long time that I would be stepping out onto a bigger stage. My first book, The Evolutionary Empath, hits shelves in just a few short weeks (at the time of this writing) and my dreams are rapidly becoming reality. As I’ve engaged intensely in my marketing and promotion activities, I’ve had to face multiple demons around being seen, deservedness, and losing myself in the overwhelm. Oh, let me just say it a little more bluntly…shit is getting real, really fast!
For anyone who has been on the precipice of fame, asked to fill big shoes, or called forward by their soul in a major way, you know what I’m talking about. It creates a period of intense accelerated growth. Simultaneously you are swirling in exhilaration and terror, vacillating between...
Reclaiming the Lost Feminine Archetype
October 23, 2019 | By Stephanie Red Feather
(Originally published in Evolving Magazine January 2018)
Conscious evolution is an act of revolution. In the process of evolving, we are faced with the choice to go with the herd or forge our own path. Going against the herd is treacherous, often accompanied by rebuffing, if not abject persecution. In choosing to honor our own truth and to refuse the notion that we should "do a thing just because that's the way we've always done that thing" takes courage, vision, conviction, daring, and faith. People have died forging new paradigms.
At some point in the spiritual maturation process, we...